Brain Injury Grief: Spinning the Ring of Life

Brain Injury Grief: Mike Part Eight

At the end of Part Seven, Mike’s wife broke down with brain injury grief, unable to say the words: “Always tell him that I loved him.”   We took a break because of the tears that she and Mike shared.  “You okay”? I asked her. “Yeah.” Are you okay? I asked Mike. “Yes.”  “We’ll get there,” she added.

 Coping with Brain Injury Grief

That was a hard moment, huh? It’s hard for you and Mike.  And while you had your head covered, Mike started crying too.

Yep.

Is that something that happens often?

No.  If we have a bad moment or something and I start crying over this situation he’ll start crying, or if for some reason he starts crying over an issue that we’re going through then I’ll start crying because I feel bad for him.

Do you wanna take a minute?

No, I’ll be okay.  Are you okay?  Mike, are you okay?

‘Yes,’ said Mike

So back to where we were.  I would tell him I loved him and he needed to wake up so we could live the rest of our life together.

He listened.

Mm hmm.

Better than he usually did, huh?

Oh yeah.

And a special thing, I have this ring here that was Mike’s mom’s and Mike got it after she passed away, and I gave it to, we gave it to our daughter about I don’t know a year or two for Christmas.  And when he was in a coma she brought the ring to the hospital and she said ‘mom I want you to wear dad’s mom’s ring, grandma’s ring.’

Then one day when I was there he started spinning it on my finger.  When the nurse walked in I was like look it, he’s moving my ring, and he took it about three quarters of the way off, he went like that and then he pushed it right back on.  He never took it all the way off, he just did like that.  And I knew. I don’t know what day that was that he did that, but I knew he was going to  wake up and then he did on the eighth day.

What day was that?

That was September 9, September 9, the day I went down to the gift shop and I bought this letter thing that says “Today is a gift from God.”

Did you buy it before he woke up?

No, I bought it after he woke up, and I hadn’t been down there at all.  I just went down there that day and I just wanted something of that.  I bought a little candle holder and it says “Today is a gift from God” and I wrote the day’s date on it and Mike came home on a weekend visit and he seen that and he just read it.  He didn’t know what it was.   He just happened to read it.

I said that was what I got for you the day you woke up out of your coma.  And he actually, he cried and then of course I cried.

Brain Injury Grief Tears Become Tears of Joy

So many tears shed over coma and brain injury grief.  But the tears I witnessed from brain injury grief during my interview, were clearly tears of joy. Mike and his wife and coped tremendously well with their brain injury grief by searching for the posiitves.

Next in Part Nine Emergence from Coma Not Like Flipping a Switch

By Attorney Gordon Johnson